What would you do?

Ok.... so this is going to be a pretty serious post...

What would you do....

If you felt like your world was falling apart around you?
If everything you had worked for the last 6 years was slipping from your fingers?

My husband asked me tonight, if I had thought about what would happen if we got divorced. For the last few months, we have been having problems... He feels like he isn't ready to be a husband. That if he were to try he would fail. And that if he were to stay with me, he would be living a lie because he isn't ready to be tied down. he thinks we married to young. He said we have grown apart. He wants to find out who he is before he will be ready.... if ever.... to be married. He told me tonight that he can't be himself around me. That he cant do anything he wants to do with me.

You want to know the wierd part? I asked him what he couldn't do. And what he told me was one of the things I LOVED about him when we first met. And I remember trying for a long time to get him to do ANYTHING that we used to do together... and he never wanted to. I miss the person I married almost 4 years ago. I miss the fun loving guy who used to throw me in the snow between classes. Or the guy who used to take his shirt off when he rock climbed just to show off. So many of the things he feels he can't do are reasons why I love him so much in the first place.

So many times recently I have wanted to yell at him. Wanted to tell him to grow up... stop being so selfish... we have a CHILD together. I want to cry to him.... beg him not to give up on what we have. He keeps telling me that he will be there for Ryan no matter what... that he will always be a father to his son. But how can he commit to that if h can't be a husband. My dad said the same thing and you don't even want to get me started on that story. I don't see how he can commit to one if he isnt capable of commiting to the other.

So what do I do now. Do I tell him to go.... I'll wait forever for him? Do I beg and plead and hope he comes around? Do I get mad at him (I have red hair you know!) and tell him exactly how selfish I think he is being. Do I roll over, take it, and become a single mom at 23? I know I can't do it alone... I know that I am fooling myself in to thinking that once he gets here in 2 weeks that he will realize what he would be losing and grow up and everything will be peachy keen. I don't even know how to date anymore. I don't want to be a single mom....